He Ghosted You. Why and WTF Should You Do Now?

I was meeting this nice guy in the office, he said he had a crush on me since 2018, but then when we actually get close, he said that he accept me for who i am, love me whatever problem happened in my life, but then suddenly, like a week ago, he said he had to go other state for family issues, but then guess what? no contact ever again. it’s already been 2 weeks. safe to say, he ghosted me right? keep wondering where i have been gone wrong. maybe his imaginary fantasies of me which are build up since 2018, and then after actually get close to me and he find out that i’m not the one he wanted, he leave. or probably he treated me like a trophy, once he get me, he leaves. thanks a lot for writing this article, been crying so much this past week, wondering whether i’m not pretty enough, what ever qualities or personalities i have that might been throwing him off 🙁 was the dating life always this cruel?

You would make a hell of a friend!! Thank you for writing this article.. It helped give me a small peace of mind and gosh i hate ghosting..

Me and this guy went on a date and everything was good up until he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship , It made me go back to a place when I was in my last relationship for 5 years and I have been single for almost a year and half … I been working on myself, I got a new job , I been hanging out with friends so I felt like I can date again … but I over reacted in a way and he pushed away ( ok fine ) then blocked me on all Social media accounts and my number because he said (he doesn’t like emotional stuff ) it’s been almost a month since I talked to him , … should I reach out or just forget about him .. I been wanted to just text me him regular conversation because in my head ( what’s the worst that can happen ) if he doesn’t text back then I know my answer , if he does then … idk I like him still and I want to make it work or atleast be friends … what should I do

Wow- I appreciate reading all of this. For myself I am actually married 25 years and have fallen into being disabled and home alone all the time- a couple months ago a young, sexy man flirted with me in parking lot- we texted a little and I was going to have an affair- but then he ghosted me. What came after this wow online married dating sites and have been ghosted 2 additional times- or I guess I have been pinged. This last one I actually met up with once- he married too- and then he ghosted me for 2 weeks, reached back out to me explained his wife was suspicious and could we see each other again. After few days of texting and a date set up to the last minute I even paid for room and was waiting for him. He ghosted and blocked me. I hear the message, but wtf- I have risked so much and why the hell did he reach out to me again. So thank you and is there a fee for getting some coaching with this? Kindly michelle

I met a guy on Tinder. We had a crazy immediate connection. We talked every day. Then spent three weekends together. Deleted all of our dating apps. He said he found what he wanted. He was the sweetest guy I’d ever met. He met my daughter. Invited me to the Thanksgiving with his family. Called me love, babe, it seemed perfect. The last weekend I spent with him I asked if we were official boyfriend and girlfriend and he said yes . I left Sunday night. He told me to text him when I got home to make sure I got home safe. So I did. Told him I missed him already. He replied with “I miss you too babe!” The next day I didn’t hear from him which was very odd. He always sends me a morning text and texts me on his lunch break at work. I sent him a text mid-morning saying I hope he was having a good day. Never got a reply. Later that evening he blocked me on Instagram Facebook and Snapchat. Did not answer any of my calls or texts. Ghosted. Out of the blue. No idea why. I really want to feel better about this and take some of this advice but my heart is broken. How do you get past this???

Although it hurts when so disrespected, ya really dodged the proverbial bullet. Cowardice is the top of the list of a ghoster so better to have found out early on, would you want to be with a coward?

I’m being ghosted by my bf and I don’t know what to do. We’ve known each other for 6 years and have been dating for almost 4.5 years (on this upcoming June 4). In Mid-April we got into 2 arguments – honestly I was the one who pushed it and if I hadn’t, I might not be in this situation. I was arguing with him telling him that he didn’t care about me. At that time, I was stressed out from work, lack of sleep, and overall feeling horrible (had a bought of trouble breathing and temps over 100 degrees). I was messaging him how horrible I was feeling and only getting “Awww” as a response to everything I said. After a few messages he disappeared and didn’t respond. He eventually did and told me that his father was, “screaming in pain” and they were debating on sending him to the hospital. was upset that he didn’t seem to care about what I was going through and made the comment that his dad was a drama king (it sounds horrible, I know, at the time I wasn’t doing well and figured his father was having another episode – he’s banged his head against the wall and thrown dishes around when he’s upset). I understand that feeling horrible isn’t an excuse for saying that and have since apologized for it multiple times. He began to tell me how I didn’t “deserve” as much concern as his father because I didn’t have cancer like he did. I was upset and said we should both apologize for what we said and he refused to do so, even after I gave in and apologized for what I said.
The very next day after our 2nd argument, and working a night shift with a fever and feeling like I was going to pass out, I was told I was COVID positive. I immediately told him and he replied passive aggressively then told me he, “needed time to cool off because I had disrespected his family.”
Fast forward 7 days later and I hadn’t heard from him. I messaged him asking him if he was okay – mind you I was extremely sick during this time and he had not messaged me once to ask how I was doing – and he never responded. I continued to message him and even call him, while I was sick, and was ignored each and every time.
15 days after he told me he needed time to cool off, he messaged me with an ultimatum. Either I end the relationship because I wanted things he couldn’t give me or I change certain things and “attempt to salvage the relationship” with him adding that “I’d be lucky if we repaired our relationship enough to move it forward by next year.” He finished off his message by telling me he “wasn’t looking to talk yet” but to think it over and make a decision.
It’s now 28 days later since he sent that message and, despite letting him know over and over that I want to fix things, he has not responded. I know that he sees my messages because he’ll turn to being “online” right after I send them and then log off after a few minutes. The only time I can get him to talk to me is when he hosts events on this website where a bunch of his friends – who don’t know me – show up. I’ll try to talk to him about different things – trying not to start drama because he can kick me out of the event and it’ll ruin my chances of ever getting back together- and in an effort to make himself look good, he’ll respond back. This past time however, I asked him during the event if he had a girlfriend and his response was, “Shhh it’s a secret.” I’ve still continued to message him -saying good morning, good night, telling him about my day, hoping he slept well and had a great day, and letting him know I’m hoping we can talk soon. And he continues to ignore my messages.
It’s upsetting. I’ve helped him so much: I’ve given him money to help with his parent’s medical bills – including doing it 2 weeks ago only to not receive a simple thank you, I’ve offered to help them find a place to stay if they need it, I’ve bought him and his family practical gifts they can use to help them in their time of need, and I’ve bought him computer equipment to help him start up his online business. After being together for so long, it hurts so much to have him do this to me.
I know I made a mistake, but after apologizing, telling him I’m willing to give up things in order to fix things with him, trying to keep communication open, and still trying to offer help even though I’m far away – I feel like it’s cruel to send me 2 messages over the span of over a month (total) and leave me with him saying he “Wasn’t ready to talk yet,” making me believe he was going to talk to me and try and work things out. I’ve also had this feeling that he might be cheating on me and talking to someone else. He said he’d never do that to me, because his ex did it to him, but we used to talk every single day throughout the whole day and now that I haven’t heard from him at all I have a feeling he’s talking to someone else.
I don’t know what to do. I really want to talk to him to fix this relationship and go back to how things used to be. But if he won’t work with me, what do I do? If he wants to break up, I wish he’d grow up and be the man he claims to be and tell me instead of, essentially, waiting it out until I decide to give up and end things when that’s not what I want.

Hi Bobbi, very good article! I am going to present you a situation I have been in, maybe you can express your opinion.
I met a guy on October and we fell in love, we have been a couple since out second date. He was very nice to me, polite, we spent a week talking and going out and we were about to meet on Saturday, for a walk in the park. I sent him a message asking what time we would meet and he said we could not meet, cause he was going to his parents’. I asked him if everything was fine and he answered me on the second day, saying that he was not ready for a relationship and he didn’t want make me suffer. I let him go and after 3 weeks of no contact and just watching my Instastories, he wrote me a few times and then we met. He told me he was sorry for what had happened and that he had a mental breakdown about his job. I offered him a second chance and everything had been going on well for 3 weeks, we went out, we talked every day, I met his grandma and we made plans for the New Year’s Eva. A few days before Christmas, I felt him getting cold, on Friday, Saturday, Sunday , I was the only one who initiated contacts, he told me he was with his friends. On Monday before Christmas, he didn’t reach out, although he was active on social apps. I called him once and he declined my call. After a few hours, I called him again fir a few times and he declined my calls as well. I sent him a message telling that I don’t deserve such a behaviour and that I would have deserved a message or a call. After 2 hours, I called him again and he didn’t answer. Since then , I haven’t heard anything about him. He had been watching my Instastories for 2 weeks and then he unfollowed me. I couldn t understand his behavior, he seemed a good boy, he told me that the respected me, we were colleagues at university . This is my story. Thanks!

All of your tips help me! Sometimes I want to cry and can’t help to wonder what’s wrong with me? Am I not attractive enough, smart enough, funny or confident enough? I know I can be particular and maybe the people I’m meeting feel the exact same way about me.

To help me face my fears; I joined ToastMasters’s to help me overcome rejection and to help me get over my insecurities. My group is amazing!

Elizabeth Wyatt

I just smile at this childish behavior and tell myself………
“Wow! The trash just took itself out. Thanks.”