We have man-fans here at Date Like a Grownup. And, for the most part, they represent the type of good man you want to date and have relationships with. They are curious about what women want and need and read my blog to learn all they can. Smart, right?
They also tell me what they want YOU, the women they are dating, to know about them. I’m letting them tell you in their own words what they really think.
Here is my first article of two on how to notice a good guy when you see him.
I just returned to the dating scene. Was married 22 years, dated her for 5 before marriage. So, it’s been 27 years since I have searched for a person to date and form a relationship. Brief history – My ex was great until “father time” started catching up to her about 5 years ago. She couldn’t handle aging. We both gained some weight (about 30 lbs. each), got some wrinkles and some gray hair. She started trying anything to feel young. False eyelashes, wrinkle creams like crazy, dying hair, fad diets that didn’t work, and posted 10-15 year-old pictures on social media.
Then Facebook brought her boyfriend from when she was 10 years old back into her life. I found out, we tried to work it out, then she moved out. It’s now over. Here I am 47, have 2 kids a home. I’m doing double duty trying to guide them into adulthood and looking for a new person to begin a life together.
You say there are Princesses, 18-year-olds, Scaredy Cats, Wow-me women, Bitter Gals and Sex pots. Wow, these choices stink! I don’t have time for them. Sex pots can be fun, but they don’t make for a good relationship.
Where are the nice, fun established, interesting, down to earth women?
Most women I have met fall within the groups you describe in the article. I would just like to find a woman who acts like a true lady. She wants a relationship for the companionship and mutual enjoyment. She gives and receives without strings. She is happy with who she is and what she has in life. She is interested in building a relationship into a lasting love affair. A life together that has ups and downs, has its challenges, but she realizes that the two of us can get through anything if we do it together.
I really want the women readers to know there are a lot of good guys out there who are not looking to date younger or the type of women listed above. (I’m sure there are plenty of male users and losers out there, but we are not all that way). The good guys want women who are who they are. Be honest! We can see if you are trying to be someone you really aren’t. Be confident in yourself and who you are – this is extremely attractive.
Lastly, please stop the false advertising on dating sites! The first picture should be from the same time period as the last. Please don’t post photos from 10 years ago. As soon as we meet you, we will know you didn’t post current photos which I consider to be a lie. And you can’t build a relationship when it starts with a lie.
This goes back to being confident in who you are. Take pride in your flaws. We all have them. It just takes a little time to find the person who can accept or even like your flaws.
Thanks for listening,
Here’s my response:
I love you! Every woman needs to read your wise, compassionate, passionate perspective. For goodness sake, it’s what I’ve been saying for years! You represent the type of good man my women want to date. (At least the women who have learned from me how to date like a grownup!)
You ask, “Where are the nice, fun, established, interesting, down to earth women?” The answer is that most of the women you are meeting are these women. They are just hiding behind their fears, past pain, old silly rules and false beliefs about men.
What bums me out, too, is that I would bet $1M that good women are missing or dismissing you as a too nice guy, a guy with too much baggage, not tall enough/charismatic enough/funny enough…whatever. So many of us pass up REAL men like you who are serious about creating a true, lasting partnership. Our pickers are off.
Your thoughtful comment here will help women see that there are grownup men like you who crave women like them. Maybe they’ll see what they are missing by not having the courage to show up as their real fabulous self and give nice men like you a chance.
Ladies, I hope this helps you understand that:
- There are so many kind, interesting, smart guys out there looking for a deep, meaningful, committed relationship with a mature woman. These are the good men you want to date.
- You ARE the woman the man you want WANTS …if you could just show up as her…fears, perceived imperfections and all.
Thanks again “Bob,” and to all the Good Man out there who are waiting for us to show up. I wish you ALL happiness in life and in love.