Your online dating first dates are great opportunities for you! Though they aren’t really dates at all. Continuing from my last post, when you’re connecting with men using online dating, if you remember nothing else, remember this:
When you meet for the first time after connecting online, it’s just meeting; it’s not dating.
4. You don’t know him.
Until you spend time with him, you cannot know his character, his values, or how he would make you feel in a relationship. Intuition and chemistry are real, but they’re not reliable indicators of the important elements of a long-lasting, adult relationship: trust, respect, loving-kindness, etc.
Keep your “reaction to attraction” and intuition in check and lead with your intellect. It will serve you better in the long run.
5. Keep your eyes on the prize.
You’re looking for a good man with whom you can share a deep connection, unconditional trust, mutual adoration, and a lifetime of happiness. Everything you do should be toward that end.
That means choosing long-term happiness over momentary pleasure. Don’t be intimate too soon, and do give him the time and attention needed to make a good and grownup choice.
6. Be in the moment.
Stop talking to yourself; you are there to talk and listen to him. It’s hard. But being aware is the first step.
When you notice yourself in an overly analytical mode, take a few deep breaths, tell yourself to stop, and pay attention to the man sitting in front of you. If you don’t, you may completely miss the man of your dreams.
7. Don’t be a Fault Finder on your online dating first dates.
Be kind and practice empathy. He has fears and insecurities just like you. Don’t get hung up on some little thing he does that “you just can’t live with.”
Consider why he’s doing what he’s doing and if it truly is a deal breaker. Then look at him again with the kind eyes of a woman working hard to find a good man.
Regardless of how you end up judging him, always leave him feeling good about himself — even if you’re not going to see him again. It’s the nice thing to do, and you’ll help prop him up for the next woman who’s going to meet him.