What Dating Is Like for Men (The 6 FemiTypes)
Last week was Men’s Health week; and as another nod to the guys, I thought I’d help them by helping you better understand them. (Did you follow that?) In particular, I want to help you better understand the experience men have when they’re trying to “date like a grownup.”
If you’ve read my eBook, you know that I believe strongly that empathizing with men is absolutely essential to your dating and relationship success. The definition of empathy is “the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person’s feelings.“ So the only way you really can empathize is to know their side of the story.
Men and women are different in many ways, but we’re more the same than you may think. And this is especially true as we get older. We all have dating disappointments and horror stories. Just like how you’ve dated your share of challenging types of men like the Pinger, the Couch Potato and the older-and-balder-than-his-profile-guy…men also meet and enter into relationships with less-than-impressive types of women.
I’ve talked to countless single men over the years about their experiences with women, especially those in their 40s, 50s and beyond. In the following days I’m going to give you some of their stories of dating and relationships. (Guys, if you’re reading this…get in touch if you want to share!)
Just like we can meet the same types of guy over and over, men can do the same with women. Here are some of the types of women men deal with as they date and relate.
The Princess The Princess is confident, well put together, and very attractive. She easily lures in men. She still follows “The Rules” and requires that her man do what she wants, when she wants. He needs to make all the right moves. She’s a scorekeeper, and she alone decides when he’s given enough to satisfy her…or when he hasn’t and is history.
The Princess has an “I deserve it” attitude and has little or no concern for how she can make the other person happy. She insists he give and give with little or no reciprocity; after all, he’s the The Man and she’s his prize!
The 18 Year Old The 18 year old dates – sometimes a lot – but she doesn’t have relationships because “she doesn’t want the men who want her, and the men she wants don’t want her.” She doesn’t know what will make her happy and has not yet learned how to communicate and relate to grownup men. By default she clings to the same type of guy she wanted in high school or college. He’s often the “Bad Boy” because he excites her. (See the Wow Me Woman below.)
The nice, relationship-minded men get quickly discarded by the 18 year old. Try as he might, the 60-year-old fabulous guy can’t measure up to her expectations because she’s looking for a man who doesn’t exist. She gets stuck in affairs with men who never commit, and it’s often the nice guys who are interested in her who bear the brunt of her hurt and anger.
The Scaredy Cat The Scaredy Cat has been emotionally wounded by men in the past, and she can’t let go of it. She mistrusts men and often blames herself for the rejection she’s felt, believing that she just wasn’t good enough. She says things like “I need him to say he wants a relationship, and then I’ll open up,” or “Once he gets to know me, he probably won’t like me.”
The Scaredy Cat may put her guy through lots of tests before she feels confident that he’s truly interested. When he passes those tests or shows he has feelings for her, she questions it and might up the ante. She picks fights, picks the wrong guys, or maneuvers relationships to end because it gives her control.
This “I’m never going to find a good relationship” gal leaves men unable to get any traction during courting or in a relationship. The wall she has erected is just too high for him to climb in order to get to the other side. Since trust and affection are what men yearn for from women, he usually does her a favor and leaves…hence rendering her “right” once again.
The Wow Me Woman The Wow Me Woman is a midlife gal who still thinks that excitement is the key to judging if a guy is a good match. She’s looking for her guy to be interesting, keep her laughing, ask her all about herself, and give her butterflies…all on the first date. If she’s not swept away, there won’t be a second.
The Wow Me Woman leaves many good men in her dust. Men sense her quick judgment, which leaves them feeling deflated, unattractive and powerless. That man then makes a poor impression (understandably), and the date is chalked up to another “he just wasn’t right for me” experience. The Wow Me Woman is often single for a very, very long time.
The Bitter Gal The Bitter Gal is angry — usually about everything, but especially about men. She’ll find fault with every man she meets. A guy never has a chance, even he is the nicest guy in the world and really likes her. (Which usually doesn’t last very long since, no matter how pretty and smart she is, she is no fun to be around.)
The truth is that The Bitter Gal has been playing the victim for most (if not all) of her life. Her life isn’t going the way she wants and she just can’t figure out why. With men, she might complain that they just “don’t get her,” but the truth is that she’s giving them every reason to head for the hills with her off-handed comments and negativity. She hasn’t mastered the life skill of introspection, so she’s blinded by her bitterness. It doesn’t occur to her that she might be the problem even though every date and relationship seems to end the same way. Though a nice guy might try to break through and prove her wrong about men, he will give up out of exhaustion.
The Sexpot The Sexpot is all about putting out the sex vibe. She believes her sexuality is the only way she can attract a man, or she wants this point in her life to be a series of sexual experiences. Either way, she’s not connecting with men. She posts a provocative picture on her online dating profile, invites him over to her house on the first date, shows too much skin (especially for a woman over 40), and is overly familiar with her affection.
The Sexpot offers herself up on the first date and is offended if her date doesn’t partake. Men who are looking just for sex will say yes. Relationship-minded men may also say “yes” even though they may feel somewhat emasculated or turned off by her aggressiveness. (They are men, after all.) She won’t get a call from either of these guys and forever wonder why since she thinks she gave him what he wants.
You know that dating at this stage of life (Or any, for that matter!) is not exactly a rose garden every moment. When you appreciate the same is true for the men you date, it will go a long way toward building compassion and, therefore, building relationships.
Most every man has his set of dating bumps and bruises. Next post I will share more about the women they date along with some of their personal stories.
I’ll publish a detailed article on each of the FemiTypes every Friday. To read the first one on The Princess, click here.
A great assessment of how women think and the challenges they create for themselves, Bobbi! Every gal looking for dating wisdom will benefit from reading and digesting this. Thanks!
Thanks Rosalind!
Believe me, men do the same things all the time. Especially the unrealistic expectation to feel unbelievable chemistry after 5 seconds.
PS: For a woman in her late forties, a man of 60 can never be fabulous. He is simply… too old. Getting together with that man will mean 1) that you won’t have satisfying sex and 2) that there is a good chance that you will quickly turn into his nurse. Oh, did I mention that you will probably be the main breadwinner when he is no longer working and retired. Disregarding older men is the sensible thing to do.
Oh honey, you know not of which you speak. I am not going to address the nursing issue-wait, yes I am. You can end up ‘nursing’ anyone of any age due to accident or disease, the only way out is to abandon anyone who may happen to get ill or injured. Finances are of course an issue-which you discuss before you get into anything permanent. Just bc someone-male or female-is not working, doesn’t mean they don’t have an income. Now for the one that I truly felt the need to debunk…I am currently dating a 62 year old man and am having the best sex of my life-and I like sex. I like sex a lot. He cares about my satisfaction first and foremost, nothing makes him happier than to see my happy, years of experience have taught him many, many, many wonderful tricks and tidbits, he has time and takes the time…I could go on about this for hours, but I’m afraid much more and I would get a little too graphic…I’m not saying every older man is like this of course…but to discount someone simply bc of their age is the same thing women have been railing about for years.
Hi Hagar,
Well…if you believe that, it will be so. I completely disagree as I’m married to a man over 60 who kicks my ass in energy for sure. There are many 40-ish women who would love to have him! (Too bad — taken.) Anyway, every person is an individual. If you discount a whole group through limiting assumptions you greatly decrease your chance of finding love.
PS: My job is talking to women about men. Yes, there are men that do all this “to us.” But that’s for another coach to address.
Best to you!
Bp
I see Hagar’s point.
I’m 46 & rarely date my age though I’m open to it & a little bit older.
For me its not so much age but the attitude
of those men met so far.
outdated sums it up.
they are negative, havent changed with the times & no one would enjoy their company.
I couldnt undestand why my gf who doesnt look or act her age dated younger guys.
I get it!
I do the same for those reasons.
Also men dont seem to move on whereas women do.
Theyre still stuck & shattered & emotionally unavailable.
Loved the types of women-I was the scared one but getting better!
To the lady with the older guy- thats so great.
I bet he isnt like any of the men I described!
Donna
Wow, Bobbi. I hate to admit that I see a bit of myself in a few of these profiles (Scaredy Cat). Thanks for giving us some perspective from “their” side. I’m looking forward to reading more about what NOT to do.
Glad it helps! There is a little bit of these gals in all of us. Keep reading…more to come.
Thanks Bobbi! How interesting to see this crazy after-40 dating world from a man’s perspective. No wonder so many of them are bitter and insecure. I’m afraid I have a little bit of both the Princess and the Wow-Me Woman in me. It works for me now because I’m really more interested in just dating and having fun. But when I’m ready to settle down, I know I’ll need to work on toning down my expectations.
Pat,
Men discount women because of their age a lot more than women do! Mind you, men discount women of their OWN age. I discount men who are more than 7/8 years older (and younger!) than myself because a big age difference simply does not feel comfortable for me. It would always bother me. You are not in the same stage of life. I don’t mind taking care of my partner because you do indeed never know what life throws at you. But it is a fact that health problems are more frequent with age and why take the risk that they will start a lot earlier for your partner than for you (or the opposite)?
As far as the sex is concerned, you don’t have to be graphic but I wonder if your guy needs to take the little blue pill to be able to perform. I know that at 47 I do not want to have sex with a guy who can’t get it up naturally. If me and my man are both 80 I would not mind but I find myself too young to be with a guy who needs that (and most of the time it also has to do with being overweight and not taking good care of their health – if you are in good shape, why would you want to be with a guy in bad shape?).
Last but not least I refuse to have to do anything with an older guy who indicates as age preference for a woman an age that is way below his own age. For me it’s a matter of solidarity with all the older women who are discounted by older men and whenever a guy like that writes to me, I tell him that there are nice women his age out there. Why do these guys think they deserve a younger woman? Do they age better than women? I don’t think so!
Most men choose younger women for one of two reasons:
1. They want children…and they can do that until their dead.
2. Older women can be hard to please, bitter and bad at receiving graciously. (I used to be that woman.) So men look for women who still appreciate and can just have fun.
And I suppose I should add: some men are just looking for good sex and a pretty girl to hang on his arm…so they go for younger chicks! Shallow, indeed, but those aren’t the men we care about. And it’s really the minority of men.
Bobbi,
The older men who contact me on datingsites do not want children (which I find totally natural and healthy, I don’t want them either at 47). And we are humans, so smarter than animals which means that I will never accept anyone giving biology as an excuse.
Older men can also be hard to please, bitter and bad at receiving graciously. No gender or age group has a monopoly on that.
You right in your article: “Since trust and affection are what men yearn for from women”… Well guess what, women also yearn to meet men who are worth of their trust and affection. It takes two to tango. Let the men show some genuine interest in a woman without playing games and they will come a long way.
BTW, I notice a lot of guys who are actually married to the women you describe above!
I am 68 and gratefully get 2-3 emails a day on Match. The men I have dated more than a couple of dates with are always open to younger women. The men who are in their late 70′s, and up in the the mid 80′s are ‘winking’ at me or sending emails. The men I have dated are ‘wounded’. One told me that he was looking for someone very different than his deceased wife, whom he was married to for 35 years. I asked another man, (This was after 8 dates), whom I liked a lot, if he were interested in a relationship, and that didn’t necessarily mean with me. Anything was Ok. He said he wasn’t looking for a relationship right now. (By the way,he is 68, as well, and with the little foreplay we did, he could definitely get it up!) I took him for his word, and realize that his wife completely emasculated him. The wounds are deep. Next!
Wow! I’m surprised by all the bitterness this article has generated. I’m 51 and mostly hear from (and date) men very close to my own age. I think I have a young “vibe” and am appreciative of men — I figure just offering to take me to dinner is a very nice gesture. I do steer clear of damaged men (which you can find out just through emails), and men new to the dating scene (they’re more likely to try to get younger women).
I think having a good, upbeat, non-threatening profile and good candid photos are key, along with learning to weed out the “undesirables” through emails.
P.S. Men are much more vulnerable and insecure than we think they are. Be kind!
Hi Bobbi. I am pretty sure I have dated all of those types of women you listed. Still, women are the most amazing beings on the planet – all of them!
Not sure where this one falls, but… I dated a lady one time (ONLY one time). The next day she called me fairly early and said, “My children wanted to know what their new last name is going to be.” Yep – I ran a 3-minute mile that day.
When it comes to dating, just date and have fun with it! I am a total advocate for fun. If you can’t have fun doing something, don’t bother doing it. I know. There are things you MUST do in life whether you like them or not. So, get those things done and out of the way quickly. Then get back to the fun.
Thanks for all of your comments!
Donna: I’m glad you’re working out how to clearly define what you need and the qualities a man must have for you to be happy with him. That’s so important. (Step 2 of my Find Hope and Find Him System in fact!)
It’s true that many men hunker down and nest later in life and that makes them seem “done.” In fact I’m working on something spectacular for you that, among other things, explains this exact phenomena. But I have many coaching clients in their 50′s and 60′s who say the same thing: the men I’m meeting are sad/dull/out of date and they want to date younger men. But almost all these gals end of with fabulous men who are right around their age. And you know my darling Larry is 62. You would never know it. I can barely keep up with him.
Just like you wouldn’t judge a group by it’s origin or ethnicity, let’s not judge men by their age. There are tons of vital, interesting gorgeous men looking for a lifetime relationship with women like you. Exclude these smart, confident accomplished men who know how to treat a lady at your own peril!
Keeping an open mind and open heart is key. This info I’m giving isn’t about blaming women; it’s about informing you so you can grow and find love.
Here is some reading for you
http://datelikeagrownup.com/2011/04/open-your-mind/
Bobbi,
Excellent article. Obviously struck some nerves. That is good for all of us as it makes us think hard about ourselves.
I was never a big “dater” ever. Actually only dated about 9 men, ever. Now four years after my 18 year marriage eneded….at 46….I am having to change my ways.
You have to date…and plenty….at our age.
I think it important to keep an open mind about the men we date. Their age, their own hurts from the past, everything. We can’t know that person without spending a little gracious time with them.
And I do mean gracious. The golden rule applies. Do unto others in dating as you would have them do unto you. Kindness is the key.
And to have fun.
Keep us on our toes, girl. Make us think! Thank you!
Hi Marie- Expectations are good! You should be clear on your must haves and on your boundaries. When I work with my private coaching clients we do an exercise setting Dating Rules and Boundaries. I help her define how she will approach dating, conduct herself and what she will and will not accept from the men she meets. It’s powerful! Dating like a grownup is all about approaching it consciously and with self respect and care. Of course your expectations should be reasonable and respectful toward the men too. Which is never an issue with the wonderful woman I work with; they are kind and respectful with everyone always. (As I’m sure you are too!)
Thank you Bobbi. I didn’t mean lowering my standards so much as giving men a chance. Many are new to dating and nervous, but are really very nice men. Being a bit of a Wow-Me Woman, I tend to want that instant chemistry.
Great article.
Here’s a funny — but not so funny youtube called “Why I’m Over 40 and Still Single.” (It’s one guy confessing)
Wow! This is a total eye-opener! I can see much of myself in the Scaredy Cat! I definitely have some work to do!
There is something that needs to be understand regarding dating at any age… while women are the gatekeepers to sexuality, men are the gatekeepers to commitment.
Hi Drew. I see some truth in this for sure, but sounds like there isn’t a couple-thing it’s just a “who has the power-thing.” I know that plays a role in some phases of a relationship but both partners are ultimately the gatekeepers for themselves. We all have our own control over what we do and what we choose. I know you know that. Just sayin’. Thanks, as always, for your comment!
Hi Bobbi. I will be 40 in five months and since I married at a very young age, have no dating experience outside of my recent challenging and believe me, they were challenging! I’ve met the guy that is just looking for a booty call, I’ve met the guy that likes to hear himself talk, and is creepier and freakier at every next meeting, and now I’ve finally met the one that seems to be sensitive, knows what he is looking for as I do, we have alot in common and enough differences, but I don’t know what’s next! We’ve spoken on the phone for over three weeks, we just went on our first date two days ago. When we parted ways, it seemed that he was indicating that he would like to see me again, and I indicated the same in a text that I sent later to let him know that I enjoyed our time together and looked forward to seeing him again soon. I read all about the types of women that you addressed in your web site. I am none of those women. I am confident, independent, successful and I know what I want. However, not knowing what’s next is driving me crazy!!!!
Hi Brandi,
Glad you wrote! I know…it’s what we women have to endure. Somehow our brains just weren’t made to do well with broken links (aka the unknown). Add emotion…then add the independent and successful woman’s need to control to the mix and…well, you’re living what happens. Here is the thing: what you do next is NOTHING. You’ve done what you can. You were your best self on the date and let him know you were interested. It is now out of your control Yes…Out of Your Control!
So next…just live your life. Sounds like you have a really nice life and you dig yourself…excellent! Keep doing that and being that woman and I promise that the right man will come. And remember, if this guy is who you think he is and he doesn’t come back, it’s probably because he knows something about himself that makes him a bad match for you. That, too, is excellent.
As a minor tip: when you followup with your appreciation and interest – which was great to do — nix the “soon” part. Just let him know you had a nice time and exert no pressure or expectation. I’m sure you can see the difference. You’re doing great!
Bobbi,
I look forward to reading your book and learning more about how to get this job done!
Thank you for your reply and advice and for pointing out to me my need to be in control. This is something that I am working on. There’s another type for you.
Best,
Brandi
The older man – younger woman discussion is ruled by double standards. Older men are not better than older women. If there was scientific evidence for that it would surely have made the headlines by now. Older men are not healthier, richer, more dynamic, kinder, more passionate, more whatever than older women. Still it is seen as normal that an older man goes after a younger woman and turns up his nose at a woman his age. And women should find it OK to be in a relationship with a guy who is 10 years older than them.
Age matters. If a man is born 10 years before me, he will most probably have health problems and die 10 years before me. The difference in activity level between a 75 year old and an 85 year old is big. Getting together with a man who is 10 years your senior will affect the quality of your life. Him being not as tall as you would like him to be or not having a full head of hair will not. That’s why I don’t mind the fact that a guy is small or bald but I do mind if he is too old.
The argument about men wanting a younger woman because they look more fertile does not make sense when: a man of 55 does not contact a woman of 45 because he wants children. It’s because he has a narcissistic trait. Men look at women their own age and are reminded of their own age and cannot accept it. They prefer the reflection the mirror of a younger woman gives them. But a lot of women who have a 10 year older guy interested in them look at him and don’t like the mirror he holds up for us. I mean, if we are late forties, we are not yet late fifties. I will date men in their late fifties when I have reached that age, not now.
I see this narcissism when men who are in their early fifties put in their profile on a dating site that they look for a woman of minimum 28 and maximum 45 years old (and they explicitly say that they don’t want kids!). The funny thing is that these guys contact me despite my whopping 47 years (wow, she looks fresh and sports a size 6, is that possible at 47?). But when I know that this guy’s preference is women of maximum 45 I am not really interested anymore.
I totally agree with this article which condemns the misogyny and ageism of men who are unable to consider women their age as a possible life and sex partner. http://jezebel.com/5857933/insecurity-invisibility-and-the-reason-older-men-want-to-date-you
Hi Hagar, Although I disagree with about everything you write here, there’s value in having your comments read by others, and I’m glad you’re here. While there are a very small percentage of men who are narcissistic, selfish, superficial, asshole, lying, jerky, creepy bastards (did I miss any?)…your characterization of them as a group is so far off the mark that, unfortunately, I don’t see an opening large enough to even have a discussion about it.
You obviously have a right to all your opinions, but I see so much anger and even hate there. It makes me sad. It’s a good opportunity for others to check in with yourself and ask yourself what “MEN ARE” thoughts you are choosing to believe. If you find any that seem they may be possibly destructive …I encourage you to find a way to give it some attention and see what you can learn about it. Figure out how holding on to that serves you, and learn how to get past your emotions to the truth.
Just like there is no such thing as “all women are” there is no all men are. And this is a reason many of us stay single so long and miss out on the good guys.
Now that I have lived 7 years with a kind, loving, devoted man with whom I feel safe and loved every day, I thank goodness I got past my anger and got to the truth. The vast majority of men are fabulous and they just ADORE us.
Bobbi,
No where I am saying that all men are like this or like that. But I do say that men who want at all costs a younger woman are looking for an ego boost. And although I have a lot of love and affection to give, I don’t boost egos.
And for the rest I really don’t think there is anything abnormal about women wanting a partner who is close to their own age. I think that this is perfectly normal and healthy not to fancy people who are considerably older or younger than yourself.
And Bobbi, you might not agree with what I write but you surely can’t disagree with the author of the article of which I posted the link, no?
You are right on, Bobbi! I am hearing major hostility directed at all men, and that is really unattractive at any age. Many men put in a wide age range, on the younger side, when they first get on a dating site. Whether it’s wishful thinking or they want a woman with a young spirit, who cares? Most soon realize that they have a lot more in common with women much closer to their own age AND they’re very attractive too, but often the men never bother to change these details on their profiles.
Certainly if an interesting man goes to the trouble of contacting me, I’m not going to get my dander up because I’m two years past his “preferred” age range!
As I’ve stated before, nearly all the men who contact me are very close to my age. Even though I’m 51, I like to think I’m still young at heart and look pretty good too. I have several pictures of myself doing active things which may help. But nothing beats a good attitude for attracting the right kind of men, Bobbi. Thank you for reminding us of that, in such a kind and thoughtful way.
I’ve dated older then me, girls my age, and younger. Guess what? I prefer the younger.
Younger girls are more exciting. Younger girls are more active. I’ve never met a woman my age (that was available) that could keep up with me regardless of it was biking, walking, just DOING things. Kinda tough finding a younger girl that can as well.
And for the sheer enthusiasm of life, younger women still act in ways that an older woman feels like she shouldn’t – but usually would still like to.
I’d be open to finding a girl my age – if she can keep up, is somewhat still in shape (geez women, put down the sugar and pick up a weight), isn’t stuck in her ways, is willing to have a great intellectual discussion and most important, DOESN’T SWEAT ME. I already know the tons of things I could do better in my life. If you like me, then like me. Stop trying to change me.
At the end of the day, it has to be easy. yes, easy. Easy to talk to each other, hang out, and just BE.
Women… you have it so easy. Just smile, laugh, enjoy life and us – we will move the earth to make you happy(ier)!!
At first glance, John, you can kinda tick me off, but there is wisdom in your words. All right ladies…John was nice enough to take time to comment so let’s learn what we can from him.
I talk about this a lot in my telecourses and workshops: a lot of men go for younger women only because they aren’t meeting women their age who are Just Like You. Instead they are meeting these Femitypes who can be angry, bitter, judgmental, etc. Unfortunately there are a lot of (older) women who let the disappointment and fear get to them. But that’s NOT you, right?
I know a lot of you are exactly like the gal he’s describing: active, interested in doing all kinds of things, enthusiastic about life and open to accepting a man as he is. So that’s why I say: learn the skills I”m teaching you and then get your butt out there and Be Yourself! Do that, and you will be a man magnet…I promise!
I have my first date for 16 years with a 53 year old woman. We have not met yet. I am 68 years of age. I wanted to meet a woman younger because the messages I’ve received from women who are my age are not ‘my kind of gal’ if you get me. I changed from stating my age of 68 to 58 which reflects my image/photos etc. I get 35 – 60 hits each day now but receive messages from 18 y olds to 73 year olds.
More to come if anyone is interested the date is tomorrow!!
Hi Michael. Thanks for your comment. It’s always good to hear a man’s perspective. I’m not quite sure about what you mean by “not my kind of gal” and a warning: lying about your age by 10 years is likely going to raise the ire of lots of women. Just sayin’. Have fun on your date and congrats for getting back out there!
2 big no-no’s in Michael’s post. First the lie. Unacceptable. The 53 year old lady probably does not want to be with a man 15 years her senior. If you lie, it means you don’t respect her preferences.
Secondly, the contempt for women his age. It is sexist and agist. This talk about being younger than you are is immature. Your age is a fact. You can’t change it so accept and embrace it and take a fresh look at ladies your age. They were 18 when you were 18 and they are 68 when you are 68 so the marks of age must be more or less the same for both of you.
Lying is always UNacceptable.
Being blatantly HONEST is the only way to be.
And, I am pretty suspicous of Michael’s number of contacts per day, anyway. Quite a high number for an old dude.
Hi Bobbi, there is so much wisdom in your article and also a lot of information for men learn to learn how to be a bit more flexible and compassionate. I am 57, a fireman paramedic and have pretty much packed it in on the dating scene because of the myriad of reasons you have shared above. I am in great shape, still compete in triathlons, and a veteran of 6 months on dating sites. What I ran into a lot was women who had eliminated me based almost entirely on my age (I listed age ranges of 50 to 65). I came to realize quickly that most women were looking for men much younger, with misguided assumptions like Hagar that they would live longer, more whatever and thats fine, it is what it is. So I have pulled out of the dating scene, as have many of my friends, it appears to be a younger mans game, and you are right on when you say they would rather be alone than in a bad relationship, so I am. So, if I could second your motion and exhortation to everyone out there male or female, to look way beyond age and into the mind and heart, you will miss way less great guys and gals. In conclusion, congratulations to you and your husband Bobbi for having such a great relationship….awesome to hear.
Ladies: PLEASE READ THIS! Thank you, Rob, for sharing your experience. It’s such a shame: I know SO many women who would love to meet a man like you ESPECIALLY because of your age. We want grownup men! And ironically so many of my ladies think men like you don’t want them because of their age. Yikes! Will you all just listen to one another and stop with all the nonsense that gets in our way?
I kindly implore you to get back online and keep trying. If you do, send me your profile name and I’ll check it out for you and give you tips. Email me directly at bobbip at datelikeagrownup if you want to take advantage of my sincere offer. I — we all — very much appreciate your comments.
Rob,
I don’t have Bobbi’s creds, just the experience of a woman who has been online dating for a couple of years. If you indeed want a relationship, don’t give up. In my group, I am 58 and my friends-both married and single- range from a decade younger to a few years older, and not one of us has any interest in younger men. We won’t discount someone a year or two younger, but that isn’t who we are looking for exclusively, and no one is looking for a “younger” younger man, if you get my drift. 6 months really isn’t very long to get the true on-line dating experience. Like I said, if you really do want a relationship, take a break if you need to, then take a deep breath and jump back in. You sound like a great guy, so hang in there, be patient, be flexible, and have fun. Trust me, we are out there looking for you, but we have to know you are available!