How Sitting in Your Sh*t Will Help You Let Love In

Today I’m talking to you about sitting in your sh*t so you can let love in. If you took the time to really think about it, there is so much junk that gets mucked up by this time in our life, it’s amazing we don’t just go “disk full” and stop taking new things in.

Let’s face it: we’re kinda old and we’ve gathered a ton of stuff! Memories of old flames, ideas about men, feelings about yourself and your worthiness as a match for some hot, smart guy…all this gunk clogs up our intake valve. Enough of it can render us completely unable to take in anything new, anything inspiring or anything “outside the box” of what we already (think we) know.

And as long as that old stuff lingers, the room for new opportunity, new learning and new enjoyment has no place. It gets pushed out. Eaten alive by the old crap vying for position.

I’m getting rid of a ton of my old stupid stuff to make room for some new, super exciting opportunities. So…tell me…what can you get rid of that’s no longer serving you?

If you want to learn more about my 6-Step Find Hope and Find Him System and how I use it to help women…well..Find Hope and Find Him…click here.

And be sure to let me know what your “purge plan” is below!!

These will also help you:

Butterfly August 20, 2013, 10:04 pm

Hi all,

I really needed to see these posts as I am at a time in my life that I too am going through a catharsis. I am purging all the old to make “in with the new” and trying to hold hope that I will one day find love again. Thank you to each of you for sharing your thoughts, opinions, and experiences. 🙂

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Lisa July 28, 2013, 1:40 am

Oh I am 49 and looking forward to live alone first time in 26 years. I freaked out thinking about it once turned 49. but have grown a lot from the fear and actually am looking forward to it. Suddenly have time and attention to myself alone, wow, what a gift!

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Beth Luwandi July 25, 2013, 8:25 pm

Did say loved alone? Nice Freudian slip! I’ve lived alone for the last two years…. 😉

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Beth Luwandi July 25, 2013, 8:24 pm

Bobbi!

I’m right in the middle of this as I make the first cross-country move of my life in order to do a (second) Master’s program and make a career change! I’m nearly 46 and my children are grown, I’ve loved alone for the last two years while my youngest is away to college, and I’m touching everything I own while I prepare a major downscale. It is really uncanny how this process is mirroring some reflection and interaction with various relationships. I’m evaluating how those may and may not continue to serve me. I’m certainly evaluating, in a very concrete way, just what kind of life I want to have. I’ve whittled my permanent storage down to 12 plastic tubs, 8 of which are full of Christmas decor. (That actually means I got rid of 3 tubs of Christmas stuff!) In three weeks these and all I need for the life I’m designing….all I shall own on this planet. Can’t tell you how light and freeing it is!

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Tammy July 18, 2013, 8:48 pm

I have been doing this for along time now. Not sure what I am doing wrong I remove thing from my pass marriage at home and clean out closets all that stuff. Why am I not moving on. I don’t know what else to get rid of. I have no ill feeling with my x he move on and remarried so why can’t I. I hate to say this it been 5 years already. We been married for 25years hard to forget all that time with children having memory coming up here and there. Open for ideals
Thanks for listening

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- Terr August 4, 2013, 5:52 pm
  
  Hi Tammy!
  
  I caught your response tonight and I just wanted to share my two cents. Your post reminded me of myself at various times but I really thought of an old friend who was stuck at the 10 year mark. She never married her guy but it was a major relationship that she thought would lead to marriage. In short, he betrayed her with her best friend, whom he wound up marrying and having children with.
  
  At that time, my (Ex) friend was remarried, getting ready to divorce her husband. She confessed to me that she never got past the guy who betrayed her. I don’t know if she over got over him because I disconnected from her. Point is, there are moments when we feel left behind by life and by everyone else. There is a time for grieving and healing. Sometimes though, we can get stuck. We don’t feel like moving forward deep down inside. The pain becomes part of our identity.
  
  We have to get to a place sometimes when we decide to move forward. We may not feel like it at first. That’s when we have to will ourselves forward, feeling be damned. Moving forward won’t feel comfortable for you. You might even find yourself grieving over the fact that you have to leave your grief behind (Seriously!). But as you take those baby steps forward, as you drop that security blanket of grief and sorrow, you’ll see all sorts of new possibilities for yourself.
  
  Wishing you well from one who’s been stuck before!
  
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Terr July 18, 2013, 6:02 am

Thanks Bobbi and Trish for your responses. I’ll see you guys on FB!

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Cheryl July 18, 2013, 4:43 am

Terri
How propitious is the timing of this sharing. I am in a transition period in my life which definitely involves letting go of the old and preparing for the new. And yes, purging is a necessity. I am also embracing my own personal value and uniqueness, realizing that I am a wonderful and phenomenal woman and that the love I am looking for will realize and know this. I am no longer willing to accept less. I want more. It is not that I am holding on to relationship memories but rather a belief that love is not possible for me. So….I am cleaning and downsizing, preparing to connect with my final love

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- Cheryl July 18, 2013, 4:44 am
  
  This should go to Bobbi as well.
  
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- bobbi July 18, 2013, 10:59 am
  
  YES! Go Cheryl!! When you open up, make space and feel the HOPE…it comes. You can count on it. (Be patient though, sometimes it takes a little time.)
  Love to you. Bp
  
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Terr July 17, 2013, 4:22 pm

Gosh, talk about the universe delivering the right message when I need to hear it! Seriously, I’m working on a huge yet important theme in my life: CLOSURE.

I’m placing closure on my horrible romances and a horrible era in my personal life. It’s strange, it’s not easy. I struggle with thoughts such as, “If I let go, that will mean that those experiences were in vain.” or, “Would those experiences have meant nothing if I just let them go?”.

But I tell myself that part of progress is healing and part of healing is closure. So going along exactly with your message, I won’t have room for new experiences, people or blessings if I’m carrying around tons of old baggage. Yeah, there’s a lot of sad and traumatic stuff and there was a time to mourn over that stuff. There will be times when I’ll cry over that stuff. But it really is time for me to be progressive and move forward. It’s time for me to move on to a new era, an era where I’ve learned from mistakes and I’m a lot wiser and grounded in my choices.

Thanks so much Bobbi! BTW, is your FB page a place where I can share my thoughts/concerns with others?

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- bobbi July 17, 2013, 11:13 pm
  
  Hi Terr! This sounds like you’re making some huge steps forward. Seems you have it just right: learn whatever you can from every experience and every memory, and then tuck the rest if it away in the past where it belongs.
  You’re making room for a beautiful future. All that “stuff” from the past will lead you right to the love and happiness that’s ahead for you. Go for it!
  And, yes, go to my FB page at http://www.facebook.com/datelikeagrownup to read and share. Hugs, Bp
  
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- Trisha July 17, 2013, 11:52 pm
  
  Terr,
  None of your experiences were in vain or didn’t matter just because they didn’t last forever. Love is never wasted and I am sure there are life experiences from the past that you have learned from and/or made better for having them. But being unstuck from the past is very freeing; when you can hear *that* song or drive by *that* place and not feel anything (except maybe fondness) then you know you have made it!
  Trisha
  
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Trisha July 17, 2013, 10:32 am

Bobbie,
This is very timely for me. I am in a long distance relationship that, because of his ties to his kids, if it continues the way I think it might, I will have to move 850 miles away. I have a beautiful house that I would hate to leave but in the end, stuff is just stuff, and I would rather live with him up there than live alone down here. Anyway, even though no move is on the horizon yet, I have started the process of “downsizing.” A couple weeks ago I gave a carload full of things to Goodwill but more importantly, threw away a huge amount of “memories” like you describe above. I still had the receipts from a wedding and honeymoon from 13 years ago! It was a cathartic weekend, and I still have some more to do but it was a great step. Coincidentally (or not!) my guy and I seem to be getting closer with more future talk. The Universe works in mysterious ways. 🙂
Love your info!

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- bobbi July 17, 2013, 11:36 am
  
  Hi Trisha. It’s true. I finally realized that no matter where I am with my husband I can be happy. 🙂 I’m so thrilled for you – not just that you’ve found love, but that you are opening your heart and mind to new beautiful possibilities. Yes, the Universe works in mysterious ways, especially when you let it do its work! Much love. Keep me informed! Bp
  
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Anita July 17, 2013, 6:16 am

Funny you are doing this now. Last week i was cleaning off my second dresser and found this clay figure of a female beast, naked, part women, part lion, which I had made about 9 years ago. When I picked it up, it felt too fierce for where I am now so out it went. On with the purge…

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