Sometime you can’t get men to talk on dates. But I hear stories all the time about men talking too much on dates. They blab their heads off as the woman sits quietly nodding and “uh-hu-ing.” (Notice I didn’t say she was listening.)
Inevitably, these two will never have another date…unless the woman exercises some compassion and knows how to kindly stop him from yapping. (Which, btw, may be saving him from himself!)
We gals generally have the propensity to chat for the sake of it. I love that about women and wouldn’t have it any other way! Yet on dates, it’s not uncommon for it to be the opposite, with the man chattering away.
It could be a sign that he’s completely self-centered or overcompensating for insecurity and that you should run for the hills. Or he could be nervous.
But there is another reason men talk so much on dates that I don’t think we consider:
Single men rarely get the opportunity to talk about themselves and their lives, and our femininity brings this out in them.
Take 10 and watch my video for more about why men do this and what to do to get them to STOP! Then…give me your tips below, ok?
Bobbi Palmer says:
If he’s interested he’ll get in touch. If he’s nit because he’s embarrassed that he shared too much…not too much you can do. If you like him you could let him know you’re still interested in getting to know him. Nit yet though. It’s only been a week.
Annette says:
I really wish I would have seen this article sooner……What do I do after talking on the phone with a man who talked too much and overshared during our conversation? He indicated in a follow-up text that he would like to get to know me , then nothing. It’s been a week. What now?
Dating Things says:
Don’t be mute on a date, and don’t be loquacious. Making a perfect balance is the right way.
Bobbi Palmer says:
You’re so welcome. And it doesn’t really matter how old you are, just that you’re looking for a grownup relationship and willing to work on being the woman who can attract that. You have a Great attitude, girlfriend!! I’m glad you’re here. Bp
Ammaris says:
Great video! And as you were reading “Suzy’s” comment, I was thinking about how angry and unsympathetic she sounds. I’ve been on dates on both ends of the spectrum. I went off 3 dates with one guy that didn’t speak at all and it was killing me trying to dig deep into my soul to find something–ANYTHING!–to talk about. Then I’ve been on a date where the guy talked so much he wouldn’t let me get a word in and would just interrupt my interruptions. I didn’t appreciate how the conversation went and how little he actually wanted to get to know me. He’d ask me a question, I’d get two words in before he started to cut me off and give me his opinion based on those words. There was no second date, but I didn’t feel a lick of anger or frustration about it. I learned from it, to be honest. That’s what dating should be about: it’s the opportunity to meet people who share your same interests and relationship goals, but also it’s the opportunity to learn about yourself. I’ve learned what I like and what I don’t like and I’ve learned a lot about myself too. Thanks for everything you do, even for us younger ladies that are reading your blog
Isabella Price says:
That was an incredible insight. Thanks for your input.
Edating4love says:
I found some good information here and thanks for sharing this useful article.
Bobbi Palmer says:
Girlfriend, you answers your own question (after I answered it in this article): “if he really wants to keep me in his life, he would have made a small effort towards it.” Move on, ok? Bp
Nancy says:
If you ask them if there’s anything they’d like to know about you, they can’t think of anything. I prefer the other suggestion that you say you’d like to have them get to know you. And then start sharing. That will probably work way better. I know I’ll have the opportunity to try this! Probably worse is trying to get a conversation going and they don’t help. My consolation prize for a date who talks too much is that they will help me know whether I want to have a second date based on the info they share. Last guy I dated, seven dates and he didn’t shut up with me trying to interrupt. Finally I got five minutes to share what was really important about me and he never called again. Which is okay. I decided it was super important to be my authentic self always and soon.
Carla SB Carr says:
My date talked too much—because (1) he has been single too long (2) he has been divorced and regrets about it even it was 30 years ago (3) he had 2 failed relationship (4) he is so nostalgic (5) NO one to talk about it, so he keeps repeat it over and over again (6) he is also nervous when he saw me.
Bobbi Palmer says:
Great way to put it, Vicki. Yep, if we start with kindness…we’re 99% assured of having a positive experience. Hugs. Bo
Vicki says:
Thanks Bobbi! Once I had a guy (not in a dating situation) yammer at me for 55 minutes and then say, “What a great conversation!”
I like your way of thinking about it and your short and simple suggestion.
Some really adorable men can go on a talking tear, and it doesn’t mean they’re hopeless. Probably some of us have gone on a talking tear ourselves! Let kindness be our mantra, and at the same time know how to try to change the dynamic. : – )