Girlfriend, do you need some new girlfriends?
One of the biggest challenges my clients have is finding new friends over 50. Most of their girlfriends at this age are either seriously coupled or they skew towards the “bitter, men suck, what’s the point of trying, who needs it” ilk.
If one of your life goals is to find a loving, committed relationship with a grownup man, finding new friends might first be in order.
It takes a village to be a well-functioning, happy, healthy human being and our villages seem to be shrinking, especially as we age. With people working remotely now, plus everyone walking around staring at their phones, we don’t have as many built-in opportunities to make new friends.
According to a 2018 Cigna/Ipsos study, nearly half of Americans report sometimes or always feeling alone (46 percent) or left out (47 percent). The problem only gets bigger with age.
Britain just appointed a Minister of Loneliness in order to combat growing social isolation.
When you put yourself out there to meet new men and start dating, you need friends with similar values and positive attitudes who can support you in our journey.
Someone who “gets” what you are doing and will help you process the disappointments and celebrate the victories.
No Debby-downers, please.
But what to do about it? How do you find new friends after 50?
Who is going to be your Minister of Loneliness?
You are! Here are a few ideas:
There is a group called, Finding Female Friends Past 50, on Meetup.com. An article about the group in the New York Times quotes:
In 2015, after failed attempts to find a group focused on female friendships, Ms. Pollekoff decided to start her own group, called Finding Female Friends Past Fifty on Meetup, a site where people can make online groups to meet up in real life. After just a couple of weeks, the group amassed around 200 members. And it just kept growing. Today, the group has more than 800 members.
The group gets together regularly and goes on “carb” crawls, visits museums, meets for happy hour, or offbeat movies. They have branched out to other cities, so check on Meetup and see if there is one near you.
If not, it’s free to start a similar group of your own! What have you got to lose?
Then, just like all problems these days, when it comes to finding new friends over 50, technology comes to the rescue.
You (hopefully) use the internet and apps for dating, and now you can use them for finding new friends. Seriously!
Bumble, a dating app, now has Bumble BFF that you can use to find new friends.
Why not post that you are looking for a friendship where you can support each other in dating and meeting new men? A partner in crime, so to speak.
Remember how you had those gal-pals when you were younger? Your single buds who would go to dances, clubs, and events with you to try to meet men?
It’s always so much easier to get out and stretch yourself when you have a bestie by your side, right? And more fun too.
And please take a lesson from the younger generation and do not feel pathetic looking for community online.
Learning to date like a grownup is not for the faint of heart. Finding new friends over 50 can give you the love, support and companionship you need to find your man. While enjoying more fun and friendship in the process.
Bobbi Palmer says:
SAd. And now go out and find new friends. and women who drop friends after getting married are not friends at all. Bp
Anonymous says:
The sad truth is that in my community, because I failed to marry when all my contemporaries did I have no friends. They only talk about their husbands and kids and grandkids now.
Been that way since my mid twenties. If I ever married I wouldn’t have many guests. All my GF dropped me twenty years ago after everybody else got married.
I found a very few single men when I desperately strove to find someone ten years ago online. Gave up around forty. There are a very few, but they’re spread very thin. Sad.
Connie says:
Hi Bobbi! Thanks so much for doing this article!!! My 2 best friends for life have both passed away. I live in a small town & all my other friends are either married, have a boyfriend, have young children or have moved to another state so finding new friends in my area has been a challenge! I’m 61 yrs old & retired so I don’t see people on a day to day basis like I did when I worked. My problem is when I do go on Bumble, which I just signed up for, there isn’t usually any women in my area that have signed up for this. Just wondering if you could think of any other ways to find BFF. I have 2 good friends where I live that I’ve been friends with for years but they Never want to get out & do anything!! They pretty much stay @ home all the time. And on the weekends it can get really lonely & depressing sitting @ home by yourself! Thanks for any suggestions you could give me concerning this.
Bobbi Palmer says:
Great! Have some fun! Bp
Bobbi Palmer says:
You’re so welcome! I’m glad you’re here. Bp
Patricia says:
Thanks, Bobbi, for this post. I am going to check out the group on Meetup either near me or in LA. I am sure there are a lot of single gals over 50 doing cool stuff that I would otherwise not know about or be able to be a part of. And our married girlfriends are still great friends to us, but they do activities with their husbands and extended families on the weekends and so we single girls need to branch out a bit more and new Meetups sound like a great way to start the Spring off to a good start. Take care,
Patricia
Bobbi Palmer says:
You’re SO welcome, Yvonne! Glad you’re here.
Yvonne Gaudette says:
Thank you for this post. Connection is so important and meeting new people can be challenging for busy people. Online groups like meet up and Facebook social groups are fantastic. I’ve met so many great women in both. Agree it’s time to get over anything that’s holding you back and give it a try!
Nancy says:
Thanks! I’ll looking it.