Want to attract a confident, grounded man who will enhance your already great life? The best way to do it is to act like a lady. Yes, that age-old scenario is still true: masculine men are attracted to feminine women.
Men want to know that they’re contributing to our lives. When a man cares about you, making you happy is his mission. If you don’t allow him this gift, chances are he will not stay. Or, if he does, he will give you what you ask for: nothing.
When I conduct workshops and talk to clients about this, women want to know exactly what being feminine means. Am I supposed to let him do things for me that I can easily do myself? Am I not supposed to disagree when he says something I think is wrong? My answer is yes…sometimes.
I know what they’re getting at when they ask these questions. These are strong, independent and smart women. The last thing they want to do is to act like some helpless 1950’s Mad Men-style female. They’ve been working all their adult lives NOT to be that woman.
I understand their fear. But it’s not this stereotype of a woman that men today are looking for. Being in your feminine means many things, but none of them have to do with giving up your power. In fact, it is your power.
Femininity means being open, kind and positive. It means receiving gracefully and giving generously…not of material things but of your heart and your genuine self. It means being his biggest fan and letting him feel that his efforts to please you are appreciated and welcomed.
So, yes, sometimes being a powerful, feminine woman translates into allowing a man to do things you can do for yourself and letting him be right…even when you think he’s not.
I found a fantastic example of this when talking with my hair stylist. Sharon is a few months into a relationship with a spectacular man. They met online and have a drama-free, lovely relationship that’s moving rapidly toward marriage. She told me this great story, which is a perfect example of choosing to use your feminine power.
Sharon and her boyfriend decided to take a last-minute trip during a holiday weekend. He told her he would plan it all and was very excited about the opportunity to do so. After a couple days she got a text from him “So sorry sweetheart, but I can’t find anywhere to go. All sold out.”
She wanted to take a trip, so she instantly went to her computer to find a hotel. Then she stopped. Even though she was confident she could find a place, she decided not to. He was so excited about doing this for her and was so disappointed he couldn’t. Sharon knew that if she was able to, he would feel embarrassed and…well…emasculated.
Sharon chose to forgo a little getaway in exchange for maintaining the loving and nurturing relationship she has developed with her devoted man.
Now that is a feminine woman holding on to a wonderful masculine man.
UPDATE: Sharon got a beautiful ring and they are engaged! It will be her first marriage at 40 to a smart, accomplished man who has a young daughter Sharon loves. Congratulations!
Here is where I always fail with guys…
Being raised to be independent, having to fight and compete to becole a successfull women and having to be strong and independent to raise my kid it is hard to let go the control!
It is hard for me to sit at the sideline, knowing I could do something, the guy seems to struggle with…
And yes, I then often take over cause it seems so easy or logical to me…
Now I see behaving like that can emasculate him.
But on the other hand not doing so is like not being able to be myself.