Kindness: Showing tenderness or goodness; disposed to do good and confer happiness; averse to hurting or paining; benevolent; gracious.
Your road to love has to include a heaping portion of kindness. I’m not just talking about good manners like saying “thank you” when your car door is opened, or refraining from telling a man the negative things you really think of him. I’m talking about the loving kindness you’ve developed with life experience and the wisdom that comes with it.
The generosity you show your friends and family needs to be extended to men. Attention, acceptance, compassion, empathy; these are kindnesses you freely give day-to-day, but may not be giving so freely when you’re emailing the guy you met online or meeting a man for coffee.
And as you date and search for love, the ultimate kindness you can show is compassion for yourself. When you’re willing to understand and forgive yourself, and to give the gift of loving kindness to the men you meet, your dating life and pursuit of love will take on far brighter tones of enjoyment and success…
Without mutual kindness, there is no potential for developing a significant relationship of any kind. Don’t you agree? But it’s sometimes difficult for us to extend the same kindness to the men we date that we do to our friends or our family.
You’ve likely had past experiences that have shaped your beliefs and created a lack of trust or respect for men; especially those you date. You may have been harshly judged, stood up, dumped, or lied to in the past. Or maybe your challenge is trusting and honoring yourself, and you project that onto the men you meet and date.
I need you to put that aside; not because it’s unimportant, but because it’s moot in this conversation. Why? Because the men you meet deserve your kindness regardless of your previous experiences, beliefs and feelings you bring with you.
Tomorrow…my First Commandment: Kindness…with Men.