New year, clean slate, time to meet single men, right? Well, right. But if you haven’t been doing much of that lately, it’s time to change something up. Read this and get started today.
I’m sure you’ve heard this quote that’s been attributed to Anthony Robbins: “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” I love this quote.
What does that have to do with dating and your search for love? Everything…especially if you’ve either been hiding and opting out or constantly dating with no good results.
If you’re expecting to meet that special man as you repeatedly think, feel, and do the same thing over and over…you’re kidding yourself sister.
Come on! Do you want to find a good man to be your life partner?? How long are you willing to wait to be with him?
Like The Man said: as long as you stay the same and keep doing the same things…you will remain in the same situation: Single and not wanting to be.
It hasn’t worked so far or you wouldn’t be reading this, right? Your Mr. I Love You has not yet appeared. And if he has, you didn’t know him when he was sitting right in front of you.
Okay, I’m guessing that you’re doing pretty damn well without him. You’re happy, and you’ve created a nice life for yourself. But don’t you want spectacular?? Spectacular is what can happen when you find a loving partner to share your already great life.
If you’re expecting to meet that special man as you repeatedly think, feel, and do the same thing over and over…you’re kidding yourself my friend. You know that that’s not the way things work. You have to make things happen; and the only way you can do that is by learning and growing so you can alter your situation.
Meeting the lovely man who is going to be your best friend and adoring partner is all about becoming the very best “you” that you can be. I spent almost 30 years as a single I’m-happy-without-a-man-but-gee-I’d-like-one Bobbi.
I was waiting for my Mr. I Love You to show up. I figured it was a numbers game and that I was deserving…that one day it would happen.
Then I got sick and tired and finally accepted that it was me that had to make a new effort. I made some fundamental changes in myself and my lifestyle, and now I’m the holy-crap-I’ve-actually-snagged-my-dream-man Bobbi.
So here’s my advice on how to meet the single man who will bring love and affection into your life: Change Something. Do something different today in your connection with men.
It doesn’t need to be drastic; just a little shift to see how it feels, how it affects your daily experience, and how you can feel better about yourself.
10 simple things to do so you can meet single men everywhere and anywhere
Here are suggestions. Don’t pick just one. Do as many as you can, and create some of your own.
1. Put your phone down and look UP when you are getting your morning coffee, walking the dog, sitting on the train or just standing in line at the bank.
2. Ask a man to help you do something. Reach something on a high shelf, give you directions, recommend a good wine. And when he helps you – and he will if you ask – give him a smile and a sincere “thank you.”
3. Find a singles’ event in your neighborhood or even online and sign up. (Google it: singles cooking class, hike, book club, etc.)
4. Do something nice for a man you just met. Tell him you like his shoes or that he looks like an old boyfriend that you adored. Or, simply listen to him intently or give a sincere laugh at something he says. He will show his delight and stay puffed up for a week. And you’ll feel so good.
5. Look straight into the eyes of a man you consider attractive. He may be on the street or in line for coffee. And then give a slight smile. For 3 full seconds.
6. Tell 3 people that you are looking for a fantastic man in your life and ask each to help you connect with 2 new men. (Got the math? Big opportunities!)
7. Go buy a new bra that shows off your fabulous girls. While you’re at it, feel free to peruse the lingerie section and fantasize a little. Again… smile.
8. Start taking to men, everywhere. Ask the guy behind you in line any insignificant question. It almost doesn’t matter what you say as long as you make contact. Try “Do you know what time they close today?”
9. Ask another stylish woman for a referral to her salon and make an appointment for a pedicure or new hairstyle.
10. Ask two men you trust to tell you something about men they think every woman should know.
One last thing. You must do one more giant thing differently today: silence those old recordings in your head that have been guiding your response and relationship to men.
You know what I’m talking about. “If a man doesn’t like me the way I look, he’s superficial and he’s not for me anyway.”
“I don’t need to ask a man to help me do anything. I’ve been doing things myself for a long time, and quite well!”
“I’m too shy or bloated or busy or tall or out of practice or chubby or scared or independent to talk to some strange man in the grocery store.”
Stop that! Just for one day. When I tell you that I was expert in singing those tunes that is an understatement. Back in the day, I won the prize for sabotaging self-talk. You can, and you will, stop it; with practice.
Big change starts with one small step. Do something to get you to connect, learn something, feel pretty, or feel powerful.
You just might learn that it’s not so scary, alter your perception, and enjoy some new and positive experiences meeting more single men. And hey, you might even have fun and feel hopeful that love is coming your way in this new year!
Okay, now let me know what you are going to start doing differently. Add anything you come up with. I want to hear from you in the comments.
Oh, and PS: Here is a pic of me with my darling at a New Years Eve party last night. Great fun and we met nice people. We left early because the music was so loud. Shit. I’m becoming my parents.