You know how I’m always encouraging (ok nagging) you to be more feminine when you are with men?
The female, womanly part is inside all of us, but most often it’s locked away under a veil of “I take care of myself. I’m strong and invulnerable.”
And yes, all of that is true, but leading with it can put off good men.
Your softness, your femininity is THE thing that attracts grownup, fabulous men like bees to freaking honey. And, more importantly, it makes you feel like a whole person.
Yet it’s the one thing we often hold back.
Don’t Save Your Feminine Side for “Later”
We don’t really do it knowingly. This holding back has become a device we use to protect us from all the evils those bad men can bestow on us. Rejection, lying, cheating and worse – as women dating in our 40s, 50s and beyond, we’ve seen a lot to make us wary.
So we keep the sensitive, compassionate, soft side of ourselves covered up with bravado, hard work, and an “I don’t need no stinking man” veneer.
Maybe you think that once you trust him or once he scales the wall you put up to protect yourself, then you will gladly be more feminine and let him have that yummy, sexy, sweet part of your gorgeous self.
Well, there’s catch, sister! If you’re waiting for him to do all that first, you’re probably going to be waiting a damn long time. Because the generous, masculine good guys – the ones who want to love, adore, defend and protect you – those guys likely won’t give you more than a second date. (If you get a date at all.) They don’t waste their time climbing walls.
Your Femininity is Your Power
So…not feeling your feminine much? Look, your juicy woman is in there, she’s just been hiding after all these years of being the one who has to take care of all the business in your life.
I’m here to help you reconnect with that juicy woman, because it is HER you want to bring on your dates, and just be in the world!
Yes, being more feminine means being more open with your feelings and expressions, and with that comes some vulnerability. But know that this is your strength! Not just because it attracts the right men, but because it’s FUN! It’s the only way you will get to experience the real man-to-woman relationship that you want and deserve.
Lead with Tenderness on the First Date
Here are 6 tangible things you can do to begin reconnecting with your warm, open feminine self. She is in there…you just need to be reacquainted.
Wear color (not black or beige).
You will stand out and when you look at your reflection you will see yourself as happier, more expressive, emotional and creative. So will he. Trust me on this.
Smile at yourself in the mirror for at least 30 seconds before you leave the house or your car. Even if it feels freakish, do it. Science has shown that even fake smiling (especially when done in a mirror) creates positive, warm, happy feelings. It lowers your blood pressure and decreases stress. Yes, just the act of turning up your mouth does that. Amazing!
While looking at yourself in the mirror find three things you love about yourself. No negative self-talk allowed! Say what you love out loud, as if you were complimenting your best friend. Then, maybe create a list of what you love about yourself on your cell phone so you can carry it with you wherever you go.
After you compliment yourself, thank yourself for the compliment. Being able to receive graciously is a confident, feminine trait that is an absolute must if you want to attract and spend your life with a giving, kind, loving man. Then, go out and practice!Ask for a little help from two men today – and for the next five days. Ask for something like directions, help carrying something or his opinion. Once he obliges, give him a simple “thank you” and a smile. Watch his reaction and pay attention to how it feels for you to receive. (I bet you like it!)
Wear sexy undergarments.
No, this isn’t about caving to men’s horny desires. Even if no man is going to see them (yet), you’ll feel sexier and more feminine knowing your lady parts are adorned in beauty and luxury.
Start focusing on your feelings (not just your thoughts).
Are you nervous, excited, tired, hopeful, worried, happy? Write them down…just be aware.Why is this important? Because most men need a woman’s help in order to access their feelings. So they look for the woman with whom they feel safe. Being in touch with your feelings and being able to express them will shift your whole experience with men.You will move from purely intellectual connections to ones with more emotion and meaning. This gives you very important information about him and a potential relationship. It moves things forward and will keep you out of the dreaded friend-zone.
Awareness of Your Deepest Feelings is the Key
The coaching I’m giving you here will 100% surely help you be more feminine and attract much better quality men. But that’s not all. This will help you truly and deeply feel the power of your feminine self! It’s not just about him. Embracing her is your own gift!
Follow these steps and start on the path to be more of the nurturing, kind, open, warm woman you are. Do it for yourself and for him. Doesn’t it feel good to be more feminine? I’d LOVE to hear how these exercises feel for you. Or your ideas to help us feel more yummy as a woman. Leave me a comment and let me know!!
It feels incredibly unnatural to be vulnerable around strangers; you’re basically putting “I’M A TARGET! HURT ME!” in neon above your head, or at least that’s how it makes me feel. That, and: terror, a need to hide, weak, defenseless, open to hostility, unprotected…
And men are attracted to this? As opposed to seeing vulnerability and wanting to exploit/abuse?
Doesn’t make sense, honestly.