Ugh. Another Valentine’s Day.
What if you KNEW this would be your last Valentine’s Day as a single woman?
The last one spent with “me, myself, and I,” with a pack of single girlfriends or alone on your couch?
How would that change how you interact, what you choose to do, and how you feel about this “Singles Awareness Day?”
If I had known that Valentine’s Day 2006 was going to be my last as a single woman, here is what I might have done instead of grumbling about how stupid it was and feeling somehow “less-than” as I ate dinner and drank wine alone at home.
I would have:
- Gone out with my single girlfriends and looked at them lovingly, with compassion and gratitude for all that we shared together…knowing that once I got married, our friendships would forever change, but my “girls” would still be a joyous, significant part of my life. Yes, I’d tell them, I will have a little less time, but my deep love, admiration and need for our connection won’t diminish one bit. (This hasn”t changed over the 16 Valentine’s Days since I’ve been married.)
- Treated myself to a nice bottle of champagne, toasting that I had accomplished perhaps the greatest challenge of my life: becoming a woman with the confidence and competence to date like a grownup and attract the kind, loving man I dreamed of sharing my life with.
- Given myself a huge high-five for all that I accomplished on my own. I tackled life by myself for so long and created a secure life filled with the beauty and love of friends and family. I would feel proud of myself and a little wistful knowing I was happily retiring my 100% independence as my badge of honor.
- Gone to a restaurant with some friends and, instead of looking at all the happy couples with envy and resentment, I’d smile and feel a certain warmth knowing I was surrounded by people who loved each other and were celebrating that love. When you think of it, what’s better than that, I’d opine.
- Volunteered at my local women’s shelter. Maybe I’d have even bought a bunch of cheap valentines and handed them out there. People do this on other holidays, but since Valentine’s Day is about love, what better way to show it than by compassionately sharing with those who most need to feel valued, hopeful, and loved?
Knowing that I would spend the rest of my Valentine’s Days with the love of my life would fill me with excitement about my future, and gratitude and pride for my past.
I would have known that I was exactly where I was supposed to be in my life: on the journey leading me to many, many more years of joyously and openly giving and receiving love.
Knowing it was my last Valentine’s Day as a single woman would have changed how I treated myself and those around me.
How about you? How would this Valentine’s Day be for you if you knew it was your last as a single woman? I want to hear from you.
And, btw, if this helped you at all, will you share it with your girlfriends?
Thanks for the encouragement to keep going.