For a long time I’ve been talking about how important it is to understand men, and then to let them be who they are. They are not simply unwilling to change for us; in many ways they are merely unable. Like us, their “wiring” directs some of their behavior and renders them helpless over changing it.
I agree with many other dating and relationship experts, who tell you that learning to embrace and celebrate our differences is something you absolutely must do if you are ever going to enjoy a truly fulfilling and meaningful relationship with that beast we call Man.
Love, Sex and the Male Brain
Today my friend sent me an article that speaks to this brilliantly. (Thanks Petti!) The article Love, Sex and the Male Brain was written by Dr. Louann Brizendine. Dr. Brizendine is a member of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and the National Board of Medical Examiners, and a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco.
In other words…she knows what she’s talking about.
Dr. Brizendine talks about the Man’s Trance; that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. (You know that look ladies!) She says “Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain’s attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we’re still fuming, he’s deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner.”
In talking about men’s emotions, she says that contrary to what many of us think, men’s emotions run very deep. I know this to be true. She talks about studies of men’s faces that show that the male brain’s initial emotional reaction can be stronger than the female brain’s. “But within 2.5 seconds,” she says, “he changes his face to hide the emotion, or even reverse it.” It’s not that they don’t feel; they just don’t express like we do.
Dr. Brizendine ends her article with this: “There are some things that the male brain and female brain are not likely to change anytime soon. And it makes more sense to deal with these brain realities, than to argue with them or ignoring them.
The best advice I have for women is make peace with the male brain. Let men be men.”
Amen.
You might want to check out her books The Male Brain and The Female Brain. You can read her full article here.
Gotta go. Be good to yourself.
