Let Go of These 47 Things to Find Love after 40

Bobbi Palmer wedding

I was 47 in 2006 when I became a first-time bride. I admit that it wasn’t easy to find love after 40. But by 47 I had finally learned what I needed to learn, I had become the woman I needed to be, and I knew how to pick the absolute right man for me.

I can say — completely unashamedly — that my years as a married woman have been the absolute best of my life. Hands down.

It took me a long time to get here, but now that I’m here it’s my mission in life to help other women do what I did: move from being a pretty darn happy single gal to being the damn happy married one.

For every year it took me to figure myself out as well as that man-thing, here are 47 things to let go of or risk staying single:

1.  Blame
2.  Refusal to change
3.  Believing that men suck
4.  Harsh judgment (of yourself and others )
5.  Fantasy
6.  Your fear of rejection
7.  The need to be right
8.  Your 18-year-old attitudes and beliefs
9.   Anger
10. Victimhood
11. Believing you’re better off alone
12. Shame
13. The need for total control
14. Waiting for perfection from him or from yourself
15. Thinking you’re fine just the way you are
16. Blaming the guy in front of you for what the last guy did
17. Trying to be someone you’re not
18. Unwillingness to learn
19. Not reaching out for help
20. Wondering why and stopping there
21. Going for the same ole “type” of man
22. Staying home and expecting him to show up
23. Thinking you can change him
24. Resisting getting online
25. Twisting like a pretzel to get a man
26. Thinking you have to lose 20 pounds before a man will want you
27. Talking too much about your career or job on the first date
28. Relying on chemistry or intuition only
29. Unwillingness to show you’re interested (when you are)
30. Expecting the man to always make the first move
31. Refusing help, advice or support from a man
32. Holding on to old pain and not getting the lesson
33. Your mile-long list of “must-haves”
34. The need to know everything the first date
35. The need to tell everything the first date
36. Falling for guys you just can’t have
37. Calling him, even when he doesn’t call you
38. Saying “yes” when he hasn’t earned it
39. Assuming there has to be drama
40. Judging a man’s “stuff” instead of the man
41. Waiting for him to be vulnerable before you will be
42. Expecting your partner to have all your interests in common
43. Not sharing your good points because that’s “bragging”
44. Not telling him what you want
45. Not understanding the power of your femininity
46. Thinking it’s okay to live a life without sex and intimacy
47. Believing that you can convince yourself it’s okay not to feel loved and adored by a good man…even when you yearn for it

How about you? Which ones of these are YOU willing to let go of? Any you can add? I want to hear from you!

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