My Very Personal Message to You

Bobbi Palmer

This is the content of my newsletter I sent to my subscribers this week. It’s a celebration and a Thank You to all of you women who love so deeply and nourish my soul. I’m honored to have you in my life and I hope I have enriched your life, as you have mine.

Usually in my newsletter I talk about men and you. Makes sense. But today I want to talk about the women in your life. Two events took place in the past week that reminded me in a big way just how important it is to fill your life with women.

This week our family lost one of our matriarch’s. My Great Aunt Lil was 98 years old. She went kicking and screaming to the end (apparently, quite literally). I’m going to miss her amazing energy, her crazy family stories and her joy at hearing how happy my life has been with Larry. For my entire adult life Aunt Lil encouraged me to wait for the right man; telling me how great it was to do it yourself until He came along.

The last time I talked to her she told me that she knew we all loved her, and she was very grateful to have always had that love in her life. “After all” she said “that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?” Indeed.

My Friday night Grownup Girls’ Night Out Meetup was a bit of the opposite experience, but with the same meaning. I had 20+ women at my home until almost 11 PM. I get such happiness being able to personally know these women, and I’m honored that they trust me enough to let me help them in such a an important life matter as finding love. Every woman in the room, without exception, was smart and lovely, and willing to support one another. We shared our feelings and life experiences, and talked about how to bring our feminine selves into our dating. It occurred to me that the affection and genuine concern being expressed was yet another example of women’s extraordinary need and ability to both give and receive love.

I didn’t have much of a Mother figure in my life. She wasn’t nurturing and she lacked warmth. The world most definitely revolved around her. I never felt very special, and it took me a very long time to understand that it was okay and safe to love someone. To this day, at 51 years old, I still wish I had been lucky enough to have had that motherly, feminine influence throughout my life. I guess I’m not quite done mourning that missing piece.

I’ve always looked for something to fill that empty space and offer me that soft, sweet womanly influence that I missed growing up. I was reminded this week that I’ve most definitely found it.

So I’m leaving today to join family in Northern California, both to mourn Aunt Lil and to support my Aunt Muriel, who is 95. Muriel and Lil are the last surviving siblings of 6. They talked every day – twice a day – for years. Aunt Muriel can’t attend Lil’s funeral, so Larry and I are going to support her as the rest of the family travels East.

In Lil and Muriel’s honor – and in honor of all of you courageous and loving women – I’m re-posting an article I wrote last year about my beautiful Great Aunts and the women in my life. Thank you so much for letting me be part of your journey.

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This is a re-post of a “What Am I Up To” portion of my newsletter from last year.

I spent last weekend up North. We hopped in the car, stopped for a night in Ojai, went to Napa to see my 94 year old Great Aunt, then ended up in San Francisco.

The time spent with my Great Aunt was magical. She is an amazing woman.She told us that every day she wakes up and says to herself “What the hell am I doing still alive?” She says it with true wonder. And with a big smile. She’s a hoot.

She called me today to tell me (again) how happy she is for me that I’ve found such a fantastic man to share my life with. Through my (many) single years she used to remind me to stay single until the right man comes along. “It’s better than hooking up with a jerk” she’d say. Yup.
My Aunt Muriel is among the great women I’ve known in my lifetime. She and her 98 year old sister (Aunt Lil) are sharp, tough, old broads who have taken care of themselves for many years (both being widowed decades ago). They are happy and hopeful, and they get up every morning looking forward to the day .

Even though they have been “alone” they haven’t lost their tenderness or ability to recognize the importance of deep connections with others. I love my Aunts with all my heart and feel so lucky to have them in my life.

Do you have any women like this in your life? I hope you do. Go to my Facebook page and let’s share our stories of these women.

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