Just a quickie here to pass on some great information. In my previous post “How You Can Help a Man Make You Happy” I talked about how important it is to ask for what you want. This is true in general, but it’s particularly necessary when you’re dating or in a loving relationship.
Here’s a piece of that post:
“… Learning how to ask for what you want in a kind and non-threatening way is one of the strongest tools you can use in a relationship, particularly with your man. Seriously, cluing your man in to what makes you happy is the very best gift you can give him. Hands down.”
The “how” in asking is sooooo critical. I was reminded of that when, after reading the article, one of my clients said, “But my ex-husband always accused me of being demanding when I asked for something!” Yep, good point. The “how” to ask is significant in this equation.
…when you give him a chance to make you happy, he will likely do it. IF he knows how!
This fantastic article by Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D is a must-read on this subject. She gives such thoughtful coaching on how important it is to be clear on what you want and then to ask for it. Then she tells you how to do so in a way that achieves your result — which should be getting what you want and letting your man happily do something to please you.
Dr. Tessina says this about asking versus demanding: “You can tell the difference because when you are asking, you can handle getting a no answer.” Yes! She also gives examples of how to ask a man versus how to ask a woman.
Be sure to read Dr. Tessina’s article Asking for What you Want. In the world of mature dating, if you’re expecting your man to figure out what you want, you’ll probably be disappointed and feel rejected. And there’s no reason for this. Because when you give him a chance to make you happy, he will likely do it. IF he knows how!
Helping him know how to please you in a kind and non-threatening way will make your relationship or marriage better. Now go! Read the article Asking for What you Want.