Curious how I moved from being a pretty happy single gal to a super-fulfilled and secure married one? Simply put: I learned what I had to do differently…and I did it.  I want you to know this, which is why I’m offering this FREE eCourse:

Discover The 7 Major Dating Mistakes You Are Making in Your Search for Love

I’m sharing the most important stuff here. And it’s my gift to you. That’s how much I want you to know this so YOU can find your loving life partner.

Click here to sign up for my FREE e-Course to learn this and more. It’s a gift I hope you accept. There is some juicy stuff in here that rocked my world and has made a difference in the lives of countless women like you.

Want to know more? Here is the first myth:

Major Dating Myth #1: There Are No Quality Single Men

Dating can be a real pain in the butt, right? It can be a lot of work that leads to a lot of nothing.

I know. I did it for about 30 years and I experienced all the hurt, confusion, frustration, hopelessness, boredom, and exhaustion that comes with it.

So what’s the thing about dating that bothers you most? I conducted a survey recently and asked that question.

The #1 response was: I’m not meeting quality men.

Can you relate??

I hear this from women all the time. I’m tired of meeting losers. All the good ones are gay or taken. All the men I meet are bald, boring, messy, sex-crazed, too this, not enough that. I just don’t feel a spark with any men I’m meeting.

Yah, I know. Not having quality men to date really sucks.

………………………………………

It WOULD suck, that is …IF it were true.

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The idea that there aren’t any quality men is a myth.

There are about 45 million single men over the age of 35 in the United States. About 8 million are over 65. There are about 7 million single men in Britain. About 2 million in Australia…and those are just the ones using online dating. Lots of men. You get the idea.

And before you say…but, Bobbi, these aren’t quality men. All the good ones are taken…check this out:

I went to www.match.com (which is where I met my husband!)  and searched for men who had the basic qualities that show possibilities as a good mate for you:

Over 40, taller than 5’7″, college educated, non-smoking, occasional drinker, making $75,000+.

Within only 30 miles of my house there are over 2000 of these guys. 2000!

And those are just the ones on this one dating site. This doesn’t include the other 1500+ online dating sites, the golf course, hiking club, friends of friends, or bookstore.

No good men? Really?

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Why do you hold on to this as if it were truth like it’s a reality of life that you must endure? Because it gives you permission. Permission to Stay Single, and Stay the Same. As long as you let  yourself believe that your lack of connection with a good man is about T-H-E-M…well then you have no responsibility to change, do you? You are merely a victim of nasty and sad circumstance.

You don’t really think I’m going to let you off the hook that easily, do you?

Look, if you’re waiting to meet a guy who is at least 4 inches taller than you, has a great bod, dresses well, delights you within 15 minutes of meeting, pulls out your chair, is a great communicator, shows his adoration openly and instantly, compassionately listens to everything you say, AND makes you tingle all over and want to do him right there on the coffee shop floor…well expect to still be waiting for a long time to come.

I won’t lie. It’s true that most men you meet will not be the man for you.

But it’s also true that most men are really good guys; and the man who will rock your world IS out there.

So listen, there are very specific things you can do to work on this. And you have to, because you can’t move forward assuming every guy you meet is going to be a loser.

If you find yourself meeting men who never seem to interest you or warrant another date; if you have stopped dating because you’re “tired of meeting losers”…here’s some advice from a gal who has been there, and now enjoys a stellar relationship with the perfect man…for me.
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1. Be a good picker. Know what you want and must have, and make sure it’s the Grownup You doing the picking; not the 18 year old who still expects all kinds of wacky things that no longer matter and are unrealistic qualities for grownup men to have.

Be willing to forgo the idea of perfection and find a REAL man. He doesn’t have to be flawless to rock your world. (And btw how flawless are you? We’ll discuss that later in the series.)

2. Give him a chance to prove himself. DO NOT tell me that you can tell in the first 10 minutes whether a man is a potential suitor or life  partner. If I hear this one more time….I’m going to burst.

Unless he spits when he talks, smells, or is drunk; give him a chance. As I say on Page 19 of my eBook “7 Secrets to Finally Finding Love: Confessions of the World’s Worst Dater” quick judgments are often a response to a lot of things that have nothing to do with the man sitting in front of you.

Quickly dismissing the men you meet is most often about self-protection and living past experiences in the present. I mean, after all, if every man you meet is unworthy then there is no risk you’ll actually start dating or get in a relationship! Yep, that’s a surefire way to avoid ever being hurt or rejected.

Click here and sign up for my FREE e-Course to learn all 7 dating mistakes.

So…do you still think There Are No Quality Men? Are you ready to work on identifying and breaking through this barrier?

Here is your assignment for the week.

Ask yourself and reflect:

•  What beliefs or feelings do I have that may be making it harder for me  to accept men with kindness?

•  Where did these beliefs originate?

•  Do I have a “type” that I find myself attracted to yet they never seem to work out?

•  Are the men I’m choosing turning out to be losers or disappointments?

•  Do I rely on chemistry and make judgments about a man’s viability soon after meeting him?

•  Am I giving the nice guys a chance?

•    Is my vision of my ideal man a true and realistic representation of who and what I need in my life today?

• Get to the core of your belief that there are no quality men. Get honest with yourself. When did you start believing this, and why do you think you do?

• Write down your beliefs and then list all the ways they serve you; and don’t serve you. Do you want to hang on to them?

• Write your list of qualities, values, and behaviors that attract you and that you expect in a man you spend time with. Review your list and decide: does this man exist? Are these qualities I’m looking for directly related to a man’s ability to make me happy? Are these truly requirements and worthy of dismissing a man who does not possess the quality?

• Complete my steps to learn Kindness…With Men. You can find them either in my eBook on pages 24 and 25; or you can get an overview of the steps of the exercise in my blog series of the same name.

What you believe is your truth.
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And what you put out and expect is what you get. This isn’t woo-woo stuff…this is simply truth.

If you need help letting go, find support. Talk to friends, a counselor, or seek the support of a dating coach.

Let me know how this goes for you and how you feel when you complete it.

With love and support,