Do’s and Don’ts About Online Profile Photos for Women Dating after 40

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Posting photos on your online dating profile can feel agonizing, especially for women and most especially for women who are dating later in life. Writing a profile and filling out questionnaires can be a challenge, but the posting pictures part is the hardest part for many.
It’s true that you’re putting yourself out there and a lot of men are going to look at you. And we’ve all heard about men being very visual, so it makes some sense that you’re concerned you can be rejected for your looks.

If you’re a women using online dating after 40, and you’re having that fear of “rejection by photo,” OR if this is something that is keeping you from going online, this article should assuage your photo fear. I’m going to give you some truths about what most men are looking for in your photos and give you do’s and don’ts that will help you have fun and end up with some great shots of your gorgeous self.

Contrary to most beliefs, attracting men – especially men who are dating after 40, 50 and beyond – is not all about how young or skinny you are. Mature men who want connection and relationship (aka the men you want to meet) are looking at your pictures for information about you.

Your pictures tell men a story. He is looking and thinking: Does she look open, friendly, healthy, confident? Does she look nice, interesting, fun?

Your pictures tell men a story. He is looking and thinking: Does she look open, friendly, healthy, confident? Does she look nice, interesting, fun?

There are millions of real men online who are looking for a real woman. (I met my husband online, so have the vast majority of the women I coach.) Your pictures give a sense of whether you would be someone they might like to meet. And there are all kinds of men who are attracted to all kinds of women. This is especially true on senior dating sites.

 

Here’s another thing: Both women and men post photos that are outdated, have them hiding behind sunglasses or are too dark to really see. Women, in particular, post photos that don’t show their bodies.

When you hide or don’t tell some story of who you are, men either going to pass. And if you post old pics , they are going to feel duped when they meet you. (I know that’s happened to you before. It’s not pleasant.)

There’s no reason to post a picture of you when you were 20 pounds lighter or 20 years younger. Just DON’T. This is part of mature dating. You want to MEET these men, right? Well if your pictures are misleading you’re surely going to be met with resentment and disappointment. (You don’t want him to post a photo with hair and then show up to your coffee date bald as a cue ball, do you?)

Stop worrying about how your body looks at your age and remember: you’re not 30 and you’re not supposed to look like you’re 30. Men appreciate REAL women and want to see that in your photos, so don’t try to hide yourself.

Your online dating profile and your photos are the first impression you will make. When you show who you are and express it in a way that men appreciate, and you look like you’re proud of who you are, the right men will be attracted. That’s the great thing about online dating!

So, how do you look your very best and tell a positive, authentic story to the men you want to meet? Follow these profile photo do’s and don’ts and your pictures will attract the right men:

PROFILE PHOTO DO’S

•  Try to have fun when you are taking your pictures.
•  Show various attire, like you’re going out on a casual date and also a dressy date
•  Post at least one head shot and one full body shot; both clear, with good light and a bright, sincere smile. (People’s eyes sparkle when they smile!)
•  Show varied types of shots with varied expressions: head shot, full body shot and doing some activity that you enjoy. (Traveling, kayaking, buying flowers, eating out. reading, etc.)
•  Show photos of you alone or only with people in the background.
•  Get a good night’s sleep before you take your pictures.
•  Do your nails.
•  Wear clothes that fit your body and make you feel good. (When you layer on clothes to cover your body it only makes you look larger than you are.)
•  Wear color, but not wild prints.
•  Apply your makeup in natural light.
•  Wear relatively light lipstick, shine is good.
•  If possible get your photos taken by a professional.
•  Have fun and remember this is going to lead you to love.

PROFILE PHOTO DON’TS

•  Wear all black in all photos.
•  Post selfies.
•  Post glamor-type shots or photos that are too suggestive or revealing.
•  Wear too much makeup.
•  Wear dark, mat lipstick.
•  Show yourself with the same expression in all photos.
•  Have more than 5 or 6 pictures.
•  Have only headshots.
•  Show yourself with other people – especially women!
•  Put up any bad photos (Men will assume you look like your worse. photo…probably just like you do when you look a them.)
•  Ignore the importance of posting good pictures.

Honestly, women are far more critical of their appearance than men. Men are trying decide whether they might like you; not whether you look like a fashion model. So just relax, get someone to take some great shots of you, and proudly put yourself out there…because you are a beautiful woman!

 

 

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