What’s the Stuff Standing Between You and That Good Man?
July 29th, 2011 |
Dating over 40,Dating to Find Love,How to Deal With Rejection,Self Esteem / Confidence |
bobbi |
3 comments
What layers of “stuff” are creating a barrier between you and your dream of sharing your life with a good man? As a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40, I see this all the time: women in their 40s, 50s and 60s still believing “truths” she glommed on to a lifetime ago.
What are you holding on to?
- Pain of old relationships
- Judgments from ex’s and family members
- Expectations or learned dysfunction from your family
- Influence from well-meaning friends
- Perfectionism
- Fear of the unknown
- Assumptions about what men want and don’t want
- Fear of feelings that date back to days past (that you can easily handle now)
Next time, I’ll give you some very specific tools to help you kick your crap to the curb.
If you need help clearing some old layers, click here to sign up for my free eCourse: The 7 Major Dating mistakes Women over 40 Make in their Search for Love. Or just pick up the phone and call me and let’s talk about how I can help you Find Hope and then Find Him.
anita Wheeler
July 30, 2011
Bobbi,
Love your advice and digging deeper to shed the layers in relationships. The “I’m not enough” is the one of the old thought patterns that emerges..seems to be a Universal theme with women. Thanks for your timely thoughts.
Hugs…Anita
Bobbi Palmer
July 30, 2011
Hi Anita! You’re so right about that universal theme being “I’m not good enough.” I think that’s derived from two things:
1. Traditionally women are judged under a microscope, yet men aren’t (and we gals carry on the tradition in spades)
2. We have very false beliefs about what men really want. The Good Guys are looking for someone human and imperfect…but she needs to be okay with that herself.
Here is an article to read (if you haven’t already). http://datelikeagrownup.com/2011/06/imperfection-does-not-equal-rejection/
Thanks for your note, Anita. Keep reading and letting me know how you’re doing.
Love, Bp
Innocent Bystander
July 30, 2011
You’re spot on with the layers stuff. I don’t know that I have any dating-related issues that go back that far, but I know I’m still harboring resentment against teachers from junior high and stopped pursuing music in any form or fashion because of horrible experiences with said teachers. And that was almost 30 years ago!