Good for you, girlfriend. You’ve made the connection.
You made eye contact, smiled that friendly smile, and he asked you out. You’re sitting with him at that coffee shop or restaurant.
Now what? How do you make it a fun time and turn it into a second date?
Dazzling him on the date takes a positive approach, finesse, skill and the ability to be your real self.
1. Timeliness is next to goddess-ness: I know you’re usually on time, but make it definite for your date. Many people think that being late shows disrespect. If it’s taken that way, and disrespect is your first impression, it could end your date before it begins.
2. Go with kindness: Approach your date with an open mind and open heart – to him and yourself. Allow for nervousness and even awkwardness, and show compassion by being willing to see things from his perspective.
3. First find three things you like about him: We tend to look for the negatives first; what discounts him as a potential suitor. Wonder why you never meed guys you like? This is one big reason why.
4. Stay connected: Keep eye contact, smile, laugh (when he’s truly funny)…repeat.
5. Manage the conversation: Be the master of the segue. Learn how to change the conversation when necessary and to respond to inappropriate or overly personal questions with ease…while remaining open and charming.*
6. Listen the way a man wants you to: Simply put, let him speak! Keep easy eye contact and let him talk with no interruptions; not even uh-huhs, oh yahs.or me-toos. Smiles and chuckles are ok.
7. Hop on his wavelength: Dr. Diana Kirschner, in her book Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love, talks about “assuming his vibe” with mirroring voice, body language, intonation, energy, sitting position, etc. ( This helps you make good connections in all parts of your life, so it’s a great skill to learn.)
8. Flirt with flair: There can be a fine line between flirting and coming on too strong. You don’t have to be a hussy or silly. Keep eye contact, be playful (but not sarcastic), give and receive compliments graciously, laugh (again, when he’s funny), strategically touch (him and yourself) in the right places.
9. Relax and have fun: Don’t over-think, don’t over judge, and don’t overindulge. You’re simply there to learn more about this guy and enjoy yourself. You can chill…you don’t have to decide that night if he will be your future husband. The more you relax, the more you are yourself. They more yourself you are, the more he’s going to like you. Trust me on this one.
Look for next week’s Friday Quickie: 15 Ways to Dazzle Him on the Date: Part 2- Making Yourself Memorable.
* If you’re interested in learning more about how to manage conversation, be a good listener, flirt with flair, mirroring and more, join me on my Mastering the Mystery of Meeting Men after 40 telecourse. It’s not too late to jump in and be ready for the holidays!